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modern loneliness

Updated: Feb 10, 2021

Modern loneliness. A great song by Lauv, but also a serious issue.


We all feel lonely at times. We can't be happy all of the time and it's in our nature to pick things apart. 'What if they don't like me?', 'Nobody likes me'. These are thoughts that run through everyone's mind, but in particular young people. Due in part to social media, young adults and teenagers nowadays have a distortion of reality. We feel pressured to be out all of the time, partying and 'living our best life'. But what if your best life isn't that? What if you feel more comfortable with a few friends round to watch films? Unfortunately, that's not the 'ideal' life we are taught about, and thus doubt creeps into our minds. We question whether we have real friends, or are they friends who just hang around with you because they've got nothing better to do? F.O.M.O (fear of missing out) leads to questioning your relationships with others and doubting your worth. Obviously these thoughts are incorrect and false, but once the seed of doubt has been sown, it takes a hell of a lot of willpower to uproot it again.


I also believe that the current pandemic, (which has seen a lot more of us stuck at home for lengthy amounts of time), plays a role in modern loneliness. We've spent a lot more time by ourselves, feeling detached whilst self-isolating or quarantining. We can't see family members or friends, and we have a lot more time with our thoughts. Our minds are our biggest critic, and as we pick apart our entire existence we feel unworthy of the time of others. From personal experience, during self-isolation periods and lockdowns I felt extremely alone. I felt incredibly alone in the world at times, and just thought about how fickle life really is.


It's all well and good giving reasons why people feel lonely, but how can we help ease that feeling?

Participate. This could be an incredibly tricky task for some people, but I would encourage it as much as possible. Wherever there is an opportunity, take it. To use the example of my mum, years ago when she was feeling alone came across an art class. My mum absolutely adores art, so she joined. Friends she made there she still regularly contacts and meets up with to this day.

Express your emotions. Let it out. Talk to a trusted relative, friend or even me if you'd feel comfortable with doing so. You need to share your feelings with others who can help, as you can build a plan on moving forward. If you ever feel alone, please send me a message on my contact page and we can have a chat :)

Have Confidence. I do go on a bit about confidence, but I honestly believe it is one of the best things to have in life. When you have confidence you can honestly achieve anything & everything. You can look at my previous post to help with how to become more confident in yourself, and why you should.


Please remember you can always talk to me whenever you need to and I'm going to leave you with a couple of questions. Feel free to ponder them in your mind or leave me a comment about them. Have you been feeling lonely this year? and if not, have you helped someone who has? Merry Christmas & stay safe.


all my love,

n x





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